By Kenneth J. Theisen,
9/15/06
At a news conference
yesterday, when asked by a reporter from Pseudo-Science Magazine about his
reaction to recent reports that global warming may cause the melting of all
Artic ice, President Bush replied, “This is all part of my administration’s
plan to make sure that Islamic fascists can not hide in Artic ice caves.”
He went to say that “Those who oppose global warming side with the
terrorists. In order to defeat these
enemies of freedom and democracy at the earliest possible time, I have issued a
directive to the EPA to waive all environmental laws for all my past campaign
contributors. Those who emit the
greatest amounts of heat causing pollution in this fight against terrorism will
be given special tax credits as an additional incentive. Rummy also tells me if
we nuke Iran
that we can also speed up global warming.”
When another reporter pointed
out that global warming could lead to the extinction on human life, the
President stated, “It is not my policy to interfere in the ways of the
Lord.” The President also had the
reporter arrested as a terrorist suspect immediately after the press conference.
This satire from worldcantwait.org.