World Can’t Wait received the following letter to adressed to the attendees of BattleCry Philadelphia from a youth who used to be in BattleCry. We suggest distributing it to the youth at BattleCry rallies and engaging in conversation about it.
An Open Letter to the
Attendees of BattleCry Philadelphia
From Liz Boltz
It was weeks ago that I said I would write a letter to the
attendees of BattleCry in Philadelphia,
and after numerous drafts and attempts, I still don’t know what to say to all
of you.
It was my goal to tell you a little bit about my experience
with Teen Mania ( three Global Expeditions trips, ten or so Acquire the Fire
conventions, several other major events like Day One in Detroit, and a couple
of reunions here and there.
Then, I was going to tell you that I understand why you’re a
part of the BattleCry movement ( I know what it feels like to be involved in
something that seems big and important, I remember trusting that Ron Luce knew
what he was talking about, and I saw my friends getting hurt, supposedly by the
culture we lived in.
Finally, I was going to try to help you understand why there
are going to be protestors at BattleCry this weekend, and I wanted you to
realize that they don’t hate you. I was
going to tell you why I myself have considered standing outside of my local
Acquire the Fire with literature in hand, even though I had such a good time in
my years with Teen Mania.
Here’s the thing: I don’t know how to do all of that.
After all of these weeks of trying, I realized that there is
no way I can convince you that BattleCry is dangerous or hurtful to
people. I don’t want to explain anything
to you. Instead, I only want to describe
what I know about my life: how it was when I was with Teen Mania and how it got
better once I left.
Life with Teen Mania wasn’t called BattleCry when I got
involved in 1995, but it was still lived according to the same terms. The world was black and white, with Teen
Mania following Jesus the right way and everyone else under scrutiny. I signed up for everything the organization
had to offer. Every season, I did what
they said to do ( I set fire to secular music, swore off dating, signed up to
bring x number of unsaved friends to Acquire the Fire, preached to acquaintances,
felt miserable if I didn’t have a designated ‘quiet time’ of prayer and Bible
study, dedicated myself to a local youth group, and raised thousands upon
thousands of dollars to go on summer trips.
There were good things about my Teen Mania years. If not, why would I have stuck with
them? I was seeing the world at 14, 15,
and 16 years old, and I was gaining experiences that my friends at school
wouldn’t have for a long time. I tasted
independence by traveling with my peers and not my family. I made some amazing friends.
Yet even then ( even when I was living my life according to
Teen Mania’s strict moral standards ( I was distraught. By not listening to any secular music, I was
ostracizing myself from my middle school peers.
What pre-teen needs more ways to make herself awkward?
By swearing off dating, I was seriously damaging my view of
the opposite sex. I saw relationships as
so dangerous that they were to be avoided at all costs. They weren’t something to experience and
learn from; they were something to run away from.
I knew that I loved movies, but I felt guilty if I watched
anything ‘questionable.’ I was not
taught to appreciate film as art, but rather to see it as an escape, and a
dangerous one. Even on summer trips,
when my conversations would drift towards movies, I was advised to find a more
‘appropriate’ topic of conversation.
I was caught up in desperation to be good enough. Teen Mania taught how to ‘believe
right.’ I didn’t want to make waves (or
endanger my salvation) by claiming that maybe there is good in secular music or
movies or art or debate or egalitarian relationships between men and women or
gay Christians or anything else Teen Mania didn’t approve of. I just wanted to be a part of the movement.
There were plenty of reasons for finally leaving, but the
important thing is what happened after I gradually got out. Sure, I offended some people, but most of my
good friends were going through the same thing as me. We were learning that life isn’t as black and
white as we were taught. It wasn’t the
Bible that showed us that truth; it was the experiences of our lives. Then, we realized that the Bible didn’t
preach a black and white approach to life, and that there is room for
exploration and dialogue and debate. A
person has to discover her beliefs for herself.
Since leaving behind the fundamentalism of my youth, I have
learned so much about life and about myself.
My faith is stronger than it has ever been. I test everything against the life of
Jesus. I trust myself. I like myself. I listen to music that I would have never
known if I’d limited myself to the Christian marketplace. I learn more about faith by watching movies
and reading novels than I ever did under the instruction of Ron Luce and his
followers. I want to help my church
involve more people in the arts. I am
passionate about exploring new ways to experience the truth of God.
I am not bitter or angry about my Teen Mania years. When people send me hateful e-mails full of
accusations and angry attacks, I am not offended or hurt. I can read Ron Luce’s books without getting
too worked up. Instead, I write
questions in the margins like, ‘Why doesn’t he ever talk about the person of
Jesus?’ and ‘Why does everything have to be a battle, and who are we attacking,
anyway?’
Often, old Teen Mania friends get together and laugh about
the absurdity of their former beliefs.
We are not soldiers that have fallen away from the cause, but we are individuals
who have discovered that waging war against culture is not the way to live
life.
You probably don’t want to leave Teen Mania. I know that.
A lot of you will read this and shake your heads, thinking I have given
up on changing the world. I haven’t. I simply cannot endorse an organization that
wages a religious war against individuals who disagree with them. I will continue to learn and study and
experience life, and I hope that you can do the same.
Please, don’t be angry with people who show up this weekend
to stand against an organization that they feel is attacking them. Instead, talk to them. Hear their stories. Believe that God is everywhere and seek him
out.
Do that, and I believe you’ll make it through the battle
with a new desire for peace.